Sad and Powerless

Well, the fact that I haven’t posted a blog post in a really long time has got to clue everyone in at how maintaining my weight loss is going. 😦

It’s truly alarming to me the rate at which I can gain back weight when not paying attention at all. Clothes now don’t fit. Confidence is gone. I give it to God; but I keep taking it back. It is not well with my soul.

How many times have I written that I believe the key for my personal success in this journey is moving? God knows I will give him the diet, but He wants me to stop sitting around and get in shape. I feel like since I haven’t truly been willing to do that yet, I haven’t been able to maintain success with food either.

So, today I started using a new website (Lose It!) and mobile app to track my food. Honestly, it’s not so much about how many calories I eat, exactly, but about being aware of what I’m putting in my mouth. I so have a tendency to take it to either extreme – dieting like a mad woman and losing weight like a fiend, or simply not caring and eating whatever I want in any quantity I want (read: fully succumbing to gluttony).

I am starting slow. I am not diving in to any grand diet plan. I’m taking this first week to just be aware of what I put in my mouth and track it (which, by nature, makes me eat better). I’ve alrady been putting my Zumba DVDs to better use and have been having some friends over for “class” twice a week (which is actually fun!!). I’ve been using the community pool and swimming more and yesterday morning I started exploring some of the beautiful neighborhood trails in our new neighborhood (oh, and did I mention that we started eating out constantly because we were packing/moving/unpacking and just never stopped?). But none of that is doing me any good when it’s not consistent and I’m eating fast food regularly.

But this time, probably the most important component for me, is that I’m not doing this alone this time. I have friends who are sharing this struggle and we’re going to do it together. I bought Lysa TerKeurst’s Made to Crave Ministry KitΒ awhile back and today I finally opened it. It’s a 12-week DVD study that really unpacks the things, and goes even further, than the book I’ve already read and talked about, Made to Crave.

Included is the Made to Crave Devotional, which I have not yet read. The very intro itself is what prompted this blog post and really all I wanted to share right now, but of course that would have been cryptic on its own. πŸ˜‰

I also know what it’s like to feel sad and powerless in this battle to get healthy.

I want to lead Jesus girls on a journey that will help them find a stick-to-itiveness and a lasting want-to that taps into something much more powerful than the surface desires of wanting to weigh less and wear a smaller size. We need to tap into this power because the battle we face isn’t just with sugary, fatty or salty foods. There is a spiritual battle going on. It’s real. And it’s amazing how perfectly the Bible gives us specific ways to find victory with our food struggles.

Even for girls like us who don’t crave carrot sticks.

Can I get an Amen? Can I also get some prayer for this journey? I really want to see it through to the end, for once in my life, and I can’t do it alone.

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5 thoughts on “Sad and Powerless

  1. I know how you are feeling. We both need to find that happy medium of being able to consciously decide not to eat something, not because we are dieting, but because we just don’t need to eat it.

    I’m curious about lose it. Let me know how you end up liking it!

    1. So far I’m really liking Lose It! I’ve been adding all my food using my phone and the “scan barcode” feature and it’s found everything I’ve scanned so far – even the generic frozen cherries from my grocery store! It has a much neater layout and functionality than MyFitnessPal, which is what I’ve used before. I like them both, but am definitely going to stick with Lose It!, especially since I’m saving for a Fitbit and they sync with the site! πŸ™‚

  2. Pingback: Diets Don’t Work!! « Intentional Living

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