Well, I’m in the middle of Week 3 of The Metabolism Miracle, and I’m actually feeling very pessimistic. I’ve had a persistent thought running through my mind this week that I’ve really been trying to fight, because I know it’s the evil one putting it there: “I’ll always be fat”.
I feel like no matter what I do, no matter what diet I attempt, I am just stuck right where I am and my body isn’t going to budge.
I did have a moment earlier this week where I felt thinner; my clothes were fitting a bit better and I thought I might be making progress. Unfortunately, that moment is gone and I no longer feel that way…
I am almost done with 3 full weeks. I’ve lost nothing since the end of Week 1. Now, I know I’m not supposed to be getting on the scale, but I just can’t resist. How else am I supposed to gauge how I’m doing, if I’m making any mistakes, if the food choices I’m making are working?
Summer is coming. Well, here in Texas, it’s pretty much already here, with temps holding steady in the 80s and even 90s everyday. I’m still not comfortable enough to wear shorts and I’m still not comfortable enough to wear sleeves that are shorter than down to my elbows.
I’m eating according to plan, I’m more active and I’m exercising.
Will I ever be comfortable in my own body again? Even after hitting my goal weight with Slimgenics, I still wasn’t comfortable enough to do those two things, so I’m really starting to question if it’s even possible for me to ever feel “in shape” again…
Part of me feels like I need to just accept that this is the weight I’m going to be and try to enjoy life anyway. Buy some clothes that comfortably fit me at this weight and move on. Then I think, NO!! That’s not good enough. Other people have succeeded, I can too! Or… can I?
I’m sure my internal struggle is plain for all to see. If I feel like I need to keep pressing on, then I know I won’t be content until I get there. This keeps me from enjoying life on a daily basis. That’s not good. God did not design me to feel this way and I know it.
But on the other hand, I feel like if I accept being content where I am now, I’ll certainly never get where I want to be, because I’m struggling to do it while fighting for it!
I know there’s a biblical answer somewhere… I just haven’t found it yet. I will continue to be in prayer and continue to give this over to God, because that’s all I can do…